Inhale, Exhale

Lately, I feel the need to remind myself to breathe. I went to a major event a week ago, and I received some callbacks from agencies. I was naive enough to believe that I would be off to NYC or LA by now. I'm just not a patient person.
Truth be told, I want this more than anything, and I'm sure that would surprise a lot of people. The last thing I wanted more than anything didn't turn out to be what I wanted to be at all, but this is different. I feel this want in every fiber of my being. It has nothing to do with fame...I actually don't care if I'm that well known, as long as I'm good at what I do, and I book jobs. I just want to be a part of something so big,  and I really want to do something good with it....

Wowzers. Time for an update...

I haven't blogged in a million days, and that's pretty much because I never really could find the time.
Just to fill anyone who bothers to read this in on my not-so-exciting life, here is the breakdown on the last four months or so:
Let's see, shortly after my last post, I quit volleyball entirely. I have to have a life. I cannot spend half of my twenties playing a sport that is never going to be my career.
About two months ago, I decided to give modeling a try. (Prayers and lots of luck would be greatly appreciated, as I have an event coming up in August that MUST go well.)
I discovered that college is not all it is cracked up to be, and this is sad because I spent many, many years (since I was about 8) planning my college years. I had a college bucket list! I've crossed nothing off that list...unless you count that I made it to and through my freshman year without having a kid.
As of right now, I am still an English major, but that could change at any time, considering teaching is not the greatest profession to be going into right now, and I'm not so sure I could do that anyway. I can't be normal. I've never been normal. A normal life would make me crazy. Again, prayers that this modeling thing works out would be GREATLY appreciated.
Oh, I moved out of my dorm and into a lovely apartment. I have no furniture. I can cook about three different things, but I am soooo much happier in Beaumont...out of a dorm...with no roommate.
That's about it for now, but if something exciting happens, I shall post. I will try to keep up with this thing, at least throughout the summer.
Ta-ta for now.
Lys

Cinq

Day Five:

I am DONE with practices for the week, so I decided to treat myself to a Grande Caramel Frapp and some Barnes and Noble time.
Note: I did not purchase the Caramel Frapp at B&N. I have a firm belief that it's just not the same as going to an actual Starbucks.
Anywho...I've been sitting here for about an hour typing out some notes for my brit lit class, and there's this "English bloke" sitting a few tables from me (how befitting, right?). I absolutely adore an English accent. I almost kinda desperately want to ask him what the hell he is doing in Beaumont, Texas, where his absolutely B-E-A-U-tiful language is slaughtered on a daily basis, but I shan't. The even more adorable thing is he's sitting at the table with two equally adorable old ladies with equally lovely accents. One of them is talking about her "flat" that she lived in as a teen. I envy her...well, I envy her teenage self from about seventy-five years ago, anyway.

Trois/Quatre

Day Three:
I did not intentionally skip over Valentine's Day. I actually had a lovely "Single's Awareness Day," but I simply could not work blogging into my insane Monday schedule. With that said I shall move on...

Day Four:


Why, oh why, are guys so incredibly stupid? No means no...no, really, it does. With me, "No" is not a game. I'm truly not playing hard to get. I TRULY want you to leave me the hell alone is all that "No" implies when it comes out of my mouth.  Thank you very much.
That's my gripe today. Short and sweet. 

Deux

Day Two:

*Le sigh*

Seventy-nine days to go. Sundays depress me because it means tomorrow is Monday, which means I have five more days until another weekend begins. I can do this. I can do this. I CAN do this.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I HATE Valentine's day, and it's not because I don't have anyone to spend it with. I hate it because of everyone who bitches because they don't have anyone to spend it with. It's just another day. You'll still be single the day after Valentine's Day (assuming you aren't desperate enough to call up some ex to take you out), and chances are, you'll live through it.
I have a date with a volleyball tomorrow night, and being too tired to do anything else after practice, I will probably then go back to my dorm, put in a good movie, and do homework. I might even forget completely about it being Valentine's.

That's my gripe.

Let the countdown begin...

I've decided that I need the next three months to go by as quickly as possible, so I am going to try really hard to make an entry in my blog every day for at least, well, the next three months. 


Day One:


There's nothing going on today that is really worthy of blog space, but I have about a million thoughts that go through my mind every day, and some of those thoughts, believe it or not, are worth (at least to me) blogging about. 
Right now, the only thing I can think about are the long few months ahead of me, but May will inevitably approach, and I will be FREE. Of what? College volleyball, dorm rooms, roommates, and all the drama, stress, and overall inconvenience that comes with those three things. I am beyond excited, which just means that Time will drag his feet to make my life miserable. HOWEVER, I will not break down. *Deep Breath* I can do this. 
People say that college can be some of the best years of your life. Of course, they also say that your freshman year is supposed to be the hardest, and the first semester of your freshman year is supposed to be the hardest part of your supposed hardest year. I think I accidently hit the repeat button; therefore, I am reliving my first semester all over again...I'm just reliving it at a different university, and I'm doing it without the crazy girls in Commerce who got me through the semester up there. *Sighs* I miss them terribly. 
Again, I can do this. 

Whatever

"Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life."Emma Stone as Olive Penderghast from Easy A

Another quote that describes me quite well: "You don't want to be in love, you want to be in love in a movie."~Sleepless in Seattle

*sighs* Soooo true. 

Procrastination

I have to admit that I learned a lot about being a sarcastic coffee-addict from those delightful Gilmore Girls. For those of you who lived under a rock for seven years, Gilmore Girls was a television show on the WB (later the CW) from 2000-2007. 

So, I'm going to steal some of Lorelai Gilmore's wit and wisdom today because it is a great example of how I feel right now. 

My brain is a wild jungle full of scary gibberish. I'm writing a letter, I can't write a letter, why can't I write a       letter? I'm wearing a green dress, I wish I was wearing my blue dress, my blue dress is at the cleaners. The Germans wore gray, you wore blue, 'Casablanca' is such a good movie. Casablanca, the White House, Bush. Why don't I drive a hybrid car? I should really drive a hybrid car. I should really take my bicycle to work. Bicycle, unicycle, unitard. Hockey puck, rattlesnake, monkey, monkey, underpants! 

There ya have it...I should be writing an essay, and I'm really good at writing essays, but my mind is on anything and everything BUT my essay. 

Oh, how I envy you!

I have no idea how people manage to find the time or energy for recreational reading in college! I obviously have time to blog, but blogging is mindless, and it really only takes me about 5-10 minutes to type one of these bad boys out. If I start reading a book and get really into it, I may never stop, and I will put off all my homework, which will then result in the demise of my collegiate success.
So, I ask you, blonde guy with the Commerce beanie, sitting in the awesomely comfortable-looking chair in the library, HOW DO YOU DO IT?? I'm jealous. And bitter. You suck.

Pumpkin Spice Latte=LOVE

Why is it that the best coffee is always found in or near the library on a college campus? Really, I'm intrigued. 
I mean, is it only that way for us bookworms? Curious, curious. Oh well, all I know is, if they don't have a library containing a bistro that serves awesome coffee in Heaven, then Heaven is no place for me. Kidding, of course, because I'm an angel. 
(Yea, go ahead and laugh.)
Anyway, for all you people out there who are trying to generate some creative idea for that fifteen-page paper that's due tomorrow, the library bistro is the place to be. Why do you think all those super debonair, artistic people hang out at Starbucks? Just a theory, and regardless of why they are actually hangin' out at Starbucks, I want to one day sit in (not secretly) on one of those intellectually stimulating, philosophical conversations that always take place between that guy with blacked rimmed glasses and that girl carrying a book of Sylvia Plath poetry. Seriously, next time you go to a coffee shop, look around for these two people. They will inevitably be sitting in a corner somewhere, too deep in conversation over why Sylvia stuck her head in an oven to notice that you're listening to them. 


Until next time, good luck on that paper, and enjoy your coffee. 

"Incubus of Viral Plague" ~Miranda Priestly

Yes, I realize that Miranda calling Emily an "incubus" was sort of a film goof in The Devil Wears Prada, hence the quotation marks.
I came back to my hometown for the weekend, and I must say that I do not miss the Southeast Texas allergies! I feel utterly disgusting. I can't breathe, my eyes are puffy and watering, and my head feels like it is going to explode. Oh, my, it is awful.
I will return to my lovely blog when I return to a state of health that allows a sufficient supply of oxygen to reach my brain.

Daydream Believer

I am currently sitting outside the Hall of Languages building, which is by far my favorite place on campus. Actually, it's the only building I walk into without a sense of utter dread. I love everything about the place, from the cracking sidewalk outside to the smell of aged, yellowing paper on the bookshelves in the lounge. 

On nights like tonight, I like to sit outside on the steps and gaze out over the lawn and just daydream. When I leave, I mentally hang all those dreams on a branch of one of the giant oaks and imagine that dream being swept away into the world with the changing leaves of fall. I imagine that way, when I leave here, my dreams won't stay behind; they'll just be waiting for me elsewhere. 

Maybe it sounds cheesy, but this is my idea of meditation. 

There are so many things I should have done...so many things I was capable of doing. When I was little, I always saw myself ending up in the Ivy League. I lost the GPA for that somewhere around my freshman year of high school. Way to go, Alyssa. Oh well, I may not have Harvard or Yale or Vassar, but I have my future, and all this dreaming is going to get me somewhere big. The way I see it, the possibilities are endless. 

EMPIRE STATE ON MY MIND

I want to move to New York. I want to be one of those Carrie Bradshaw wannabes who moves to New York to follow some crazy dream. In this case, I guess my crazy dream would be to become an editor or an associate editor...something like that. I think I need some adventure in my life. Who knows, maybe, just maybe, I'll end up writing a book. I think I need to experience a little bit of life before I venture down that road, though. I think writers write best when they can back their story up with some kind of life experience. I realize that JK Rowling didn't exactly attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but the idea had to have come from somewhere, right? 

I want to be sitting in a little coffee shop reading the "Daily Something or Another" and have an idea just smack in the face. Wouldn't that be grand? 

I Don't Want to be Fanny Brice to Your Nicky Arnstein...

I'm one of those girls who grew up watching all these movies and reading all these books that basically give one a false sense of what life is really like.
Let's face it people: fairy tales and real life are like oil and water; they simply don't mix. Reality sucks. We all want to believe that we will have all the success and happiness in the world, but the cold hard truth is, not that many people are truly THAT happy.
Let me just take a moment to say that blogging is great because it allows one to express his or her thoughts and feelings, knowing that whoever chooses to read the blog will take into consideration that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs.
So, I continue to say that the majority of those people out there who say they are just pleased as punch with how their lives are going are lying. I didn't say the entirety of the population, just most of them...
Where is my confession in all this?
I confess that I'm not sure if I really believe in love. I mean, I feel love for my friends and family, but I'm not talkin' that kind of love. I'm talking the whole head over heels, totally euphoric "IN LOVE" feeling.
When I was five, I was in love with William Holden, followed by a brief crush on Fred Astaire. Damn those old movies. And, whatever happened to that guy from Breakfast at Tiffany's with the gorgeous blue eyes? Yep, safe to say I got all my ideas about that crazy little thing called love from the silver screen. My question to you: Does it really exist? I mean, REALLY?
I guess my expectations are too high. I really want the "everyone else in the room disappeared while some ridiculously cheesy love song played in the background" story to tell my grandkids someday.